Domestic Violence is a crime. Domestic violence is where a partner, ex-partner or family member uses direct or threatened abuse which causes damage to you or your children to live in fear. A relationship can be abusive without there being physical violence.
There is no excuse for domestic violence and you are not to blame. Responsibility for the violence lies with the abuser. There are a variety of examples of violent or controlling behaviours that either on their own or in a combination are examples of domestic violence. They are all unacceptable and used with intent to control you.